by this river

it is by this river
clear,cool and inviting
that I first felt my feet tingle
immersed in its refreshing waters

it is by this river
still,relaxed and mysterious
that I first experienced temptation
to dive and swim with reckless abandon

it is by this river
that conflict first brewed
"resist", my mind reasoned
"indulge" , my body argued

it is by this river
that I piled my clothes in a heap
as my mind lost the battle
and my body triumphed

it is by this river
that I was found dead
for I dove headfirst into the waters
that were but a few inches deep

ghost

it was the work you never did
the trash you never took outside
the friend you never cared about
the red light that you ran
the intuition you ignored

tossing and turning at night
paranoia casting shadows on your wall
voices of umpteen ghouls in your head
screaming for release
torturing your soul

she said,''son stay home tonight"
but rebellion made more sense than she
and you went all out in efforts to prove a point
now your best friend is no more
just another shadow on your wall

he said,"please forgive me"
and you saw a flicker of goodness left
maybe-just maybe-not all is lost
and imagination triumphed over intelligence
just another ghoul in your soul

so do it now;take out the trash
care for a friend;don't run a red light
listen to intuition but use your head
work,trash,friend and light I wish it were
because these screams and torture I can take no more

the same,but different

he cut his finger on a blade
and cursed himself hoarse
but in a few the pain was no more
in its place a scar to act as warning

he stumbled on a plank
and shed a tear or two
but in a few the throb was gone
in its place a bump for caution's sake

he had his heart broken
and cursed,cried and crumbled
but in a few his heart was wringed out
in its place a cold,dark stone

blinds

mystery is said to be a gift of the gods
unpredictability taken to be the spice of life
the unknown pulls us into its tempting snare
and disdain granted to anything we can predict

I won't argue with millennia of wisdom
nor claim that clairvoyance shall be our redemption
all I seek are the blueprints of destiny
and the ciphered motives behind these creatures of habit


mislead me not,ye grand darkness
nor shield the patterns of the universe from my curious mind
all I request is that you shed a little light on tomorrow
for only then can I sleep at night

teach me your ways that I may learn
what makes you tick;your raison d'etre
malicious schemes no longer hold my interest
all I want is to understand you better

walking away

It was in the dead of night
and something just didn't feel right
here I was,locked in your embrace
and all I could think of was winning the race
to your heart

I quietly slipped from the warmth of your arms
and sat looking at the stars
I turned to look at your perfect face
and knew I had to quicken my pace
out of your life

You stirred in your sleep
as it dawned that you were not mine to keep
the years with you felt anything but wasted
it's just that I was fated
to be alone

You will survive;I know you will
knowing that I think of you still
and though my sorrow is prone to swell
I wish that God keeps you well
for all time.

the rock at the beach

I once picked up a rock at the beach
It was all covered in sand and weed
It was just as far as my hand would reach
And gave in it did without as much as bid

I put it in my pocket and went my way
Splashing about and enjoying the sunshine
When it went down marking the end of my day
I hurried home and settled with my wine

I took the rock to my hands and glanced
Taking my time and turning it over
Watching the colours as they glowed and danced
Wondering just how much I could discover

I took out my sandpaper and file
Holding it to the light and scouring it bald
Must admit it took quite a while
But I finally held a gleaming emerald

I had it acquainted with my wrist
After I had it put on a band of leather
And though it gets a little bit of mist
To part with it I would never!

cross-eyed

darn,it's a new day again
again I have to bear the pain
pain that reminds me I'm human
human just like you
you,who makes it worse
worse to have to be alive
alive just to die
die each time I think of you

I wring out my pillow as I awake
awake to the black hole of hurt
hurt that refuses to go away
away like you did yesterday
yesterday when I needed you most
most in my life
life that I wasted in wishful thinking
thinking you'd be back

colours

started with a clear spread of white
when the beige checked in
in creeped brown with a tiptoe much too loud
and I thought,what the hell,hail the orange!

yellow wanted in on the fun
golden is where I wanted to stay
green calmly walked in and I appreciated the change
but I wasn't too sure about blue

I thought that this,too would pass
and invited pink with a little smile
I now sit here with grey clouds above my head
and wonder how I missed the red light

rhetoric

what does one do
when rock-bottom is the sky that you look up to
when eclipses block out your sun and the new moon is all there is
when the laughter evolves to snarls of pure evil
when the children play no more but are trained to kill
when the sound of silence is pierced by the sound of sirens?

where does one go
when your family wouldn't take you in
when vacancy signs dot your path
when the road you've known all your life ends
when your feet won't budge an inch
when hope is no more?

why does one live
when life gives you no reason to
when karma becomes a little too harsh on you
when lungs feel poisoned by the very oxygen that sustained you
when you hit walls upon walls meant to shut you out
when you have a broken heart?

leap of faith

I look at you
Our eyes lock for the briefest of moments
You smile at me
My lips curve upwards and my eyes light up
You hide it well
But I can see the pain you struggle with everyday

It pains me to see you try
When I know it wrings your soul out
But it pains me more
That you don't trust me enough to let it out
When I understand you so well
That no mask you wear hides your face from me

I won't ask you to trust me
That would be asking too much
I won't demand answers from you
For I know that would push you further away
All I ask is for you take my hand
And take this leap of faith with me

it is not my time

I watch them drive by in their luxury on wheels;
Slowing down just enough to make one gasp in awe;
In my dreams I imagine how great it feels;
To have passers-by glance at my pride in semi-worship;
When I realize;
As my feet blister in the blazing sun;
It is not my time to shine.


I smell them whip up exotic cuisines in their island kitchens;
Leaving their windows open just enough to make one salivate;
In my dreams I imagine how blessed it feels;
To have my stomach ache from over-indulgence;
When I realize;
As my clothes cling to my bones;
It is not my time to shine.



I listen to them talk about their holiday vacations;
Exaggerating just enough to make one euphorically escape;
In my dreams I imagine how relaxing it must be;
To watch the sunset as the waves rock my yacht;
When I realize;
As my muscles ache from excessive strain;
It is not my time to shine.

the shell

It served to protect
my delicates from the jaws
the spikes
the rocks
harsh weather and the nosy alike
I knew lady luck had smiled
and I knew no such bliss
contentment
recklessness
but as I came of age
it slowed me down
burdened me
bouldered
I couldn't twist nor turn
swim as I liked
dance
when I realized
armour hinders flexibility
the warmth of the sun
the refreshing rain
freedom to be
to move
to live
was not mine to know

coming undone

I lay there
wondering if my turn would ever come
or whether I'd end up a gooey mess like most
to be expelled in the most degrading of ways
and to be regarded with utter repulsion
never to return

I watched them come
and sighed as they eventually died
wishing they'd have chosen a different time
for they were finely bred
and never had I witnessed the beauty of bloom
in all my days

a day dawned and it was my turn to go
my friends wished me well and turned away in mock sorrow
and I put on my bravest face
cursed fate under my breath and took a step
my life flashing before my non-existent eyes
I welcomed death

what followed no words can do justice
for lo and behold,the troops rode in
as they made their way in unmatched speeds
I couldn't help but sheepishly smile
my destiny had taken a dramatic turn
the first bloom was to be my own

as ecstasy and I became one and the same
I felt the first little drops of life
and it was nothing like I'd ever known
mock sorrow turned to green envy
as they watched the once-in-a-lifetime unfolding
wishing they were chosen instead

days rolled by and in place of one were two
my pride could swell no larger
but the bud matched my pride not
a part of,yet apart from what I can't explain
and mutating in the most beautiful of ways
I couldn't ask for more

It was then that it happened
and I could tell something wasn't right
I felt a tug,and recoiled around the only thing I had
saying prayers in languages I didn't even know I knew
fighting against an unknown enemy
tooth and nail,blood and sweat
but I could tell the end was near

I searched the universe for answers
as to why let me prosper just to crumble
all I got were a thousand stabs
and piece by piece I left the only world I ever knew
wondering what I,in the 90 or so days
had done to deserve murder most foul

I looked up to see her,pain twisting her features
hurt beyond all imaginings,muttering a million apologies
to the God who doesn't listen
to me,and I watched something die in her
I expected remorse,but there was only regret
and I understood
she was no murderer-the devil had just come to collect his due.

scarlet justice

maybe it was the look in his eye
that I wrongly deciphered as plead
or the funny bittersweet memories
that I held on to for dear life
and the make-believe dreams
I refused to shake from my head

fight after fight within me
as I clutched at straws and smoke
looking for something-anything
I went round in circles for weeks
forcing aflame the proverbial light
at the end of the dark tunnel I had become

I sat quietly one rainy night
my knees drawn up to my chin
when I heard the still,small voice of reason
telling me love wasn't supposed to hurt
that tears shouldn't be a way of life
or something to help me sleep

I pulled myself up
dried my eyes
smiled
walked to the kitchen
said a prayer and drove the knife
into my heart

cosmos checkmate

I had a strategy
I was confident of my skill
had I not won a million times before?
had I not learnt the art at the feet of a master?
the gods gave me the blank poker face
and I knew it was a facade to conceal their nerves

I played black
patiently waiting for them to reveal their strategy
and smiled as I thought of ways to counteract it
sacrificing my pawns for the greater good
developing my pieces at strategic points on the board
smelling success a mile away

They kept their faces deadpan
hesitating just in case I wanted to retreat
and just as I thought of how unworthy my opponents were
the gods cried, 'checkmate!'
and the cosmos seemed to mock me
and I learnt that even the pawns do matter