maybe it was the look in his eye
that I wrongly deciphered as plead
or the funny bittersweet memories
that I held on to for dear life
and the make-believe dreams
I refused to shake from my head
fight after fight within me
as I clutched at straws and smoke
looking for something-anything
I went round in circles for weeks
forcing aflame the proverbial light
at the end of the dark tunnel I had become
I sat quietly one rainy night
my knees drawn up to my chin
when I heard the still,small voice of reason
telling me love wasn't supposed to hurt
that tears shouldn't be a way of life
or something to help me sleep
I pulled myself up
dried my eyes
smiled
walked to the kitchen
said a prayer and drove the knife
into my heart
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